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Late to bed and early to rise, makes me really tired and pissed off.
Checked a lot off my thought-about-doing-today list.
You know when you`re exercising and feel like you could keep going and going? That`s happening to me, only with beer.
It`s possible you drank too much if you have to wait until your court appearance to find out what the hell happened that night
The best part about Valentine`s Day is that tomorrow is Friday.
figured out today that my GPS has auto-correct....I put in "Beach house" and ended up in my ex`s driveway.
Social media is great if you like socializing without wearing pants.
I put the hot in psychotic.
Meanwhile one million men got to enjoy a quiet afternoon at home without anyone nagging them.
I enjoy a bit of unnecessary swearing as much as the next f*cker.
When someone rings the doorbell I say to my kids, "I think it`s Santa Claus!" so I don`t have to get up.
Hockey: because running on knives makes sense.
My house is not a mess. It`s just that everything is on display for your viewing pleasure. Like a museum.
The future was so much cooler in the past.
The squirrels must be gathering nuts. Three of my neighbors have disappeared.