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The irony of social media is that the majority of users are all alone.
We can operate a robot on another planet, but yet I`m still struggling to get this vending machine to take my wrinkled dollar.
Whenever I see a really hot girl with an ugly guy, I think "klondike bar".
One would have to assume that Amish chicks carve their own sex toys.
Apparently a new study shows that unattractive men make better mates. Nice try, ugly scientists.
Guess what I saw today ... Everything I looked at. ;)
A man made eye contact with me on the train, so I left my shoe behind ... And now, we wait...
Applebees is a word that starts off pretty tame but takes a dangerous twist
Don’t judge me for things I did a few seconds ago, I’ve changed since then.
I consider each one of my friends a gift. Now if only I could remember where I put some of those receipts.
Are you supposed to get an email that says “HAHAHAHAHA” after signing up for Match.com?
I wish electronics would scream a little bit when you unplugged them.
Requesting a table in the “Hot Waitress” section should be socially acceptable.
Well if you didn`t want me to fall in love with you, why did you tell me you had nachos?
Subway only exists because we`re all too damn lazy to throw a sandwich together. "Could you lay meat on that bread for me? Here`s $8."