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Just slung my bra off & threw it to the other side of the couch where there are already 2 other bras. If my math is right, it`s Wednesday.
The sexiest fantasy in 50 Shades Of Grey is the bit where she gets a job in journalism without having to do years of unpaid work experience.
Are you one of those people that get hurt from things posted on Facebook? You can easily avoid that by keeping your a$$ off of Facebook.
SPOILER ALERT for "Finding Bigfoot" TV show - they don`t find him. Again.
Behind every great women is a man checking out her a$$
Funny how drinking 8 glasses of water a day seems impossible, but 8 beers, and 6 shots, go down like a fat kid on a see-saw.
It’s not really drinking alone if the dog is home ... right?
Somewhere in America, a woman has a baby every 47 minutes. We`ve got to find this woman and stop her!
My wife thinks I’m at work. My boss thinks I’m home sick. These ducks think I’m awesome because I have the bread.
I have no time for stupid people But they sure seem to have time for me.
Judging by all of the cologne and shower sets I got for Christmas either people know I like to smell good or I am failing at it.
The only hunger games i care about involve plastic hippos.
They say dolphins are the second smartest animal after humans, but I`ve never seen a dolphin with a face tattoo.
Sex Is Like Math: Add The Bed, Subtract The Clothes, Divide The Legs, And Pray To God You Don`t Multiply!
I need to put someone on my weekend to-do list