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“Do you have a charger?” is the new “Could I bum a cigarette?”
Knowing sign language is a handy skill when it comes to identifying schizophrenics at famous people`s funerals.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m coming to your house with a facking baseball bat.
Watching movies alone sucks. There´s no one to ask, "What did he just say? Who is that guy?"
that awkward moment when your pulling the covers up and hit yourself in the damn face !!!
It`s been close to a million years since I exaggerated about anything.
I`m pretty sure the whole "ladies first" thing was created by a guy just to check out a$$.
Comment if you think I`m normal... Like this if you think I`m crazy... Copy this if you know your crazy too! And if your me... OMG TURKEY SQUIRREL! :)
I hate it when I think I`m buying ORGANIC vegetables but when I get home I discover they`re just REGULAR donuts...
Why does Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell insurance. Is there something dirty about insurance we should know about?
Dora the explorer.... Y U NO GET GPS?
I`m at my neighbor`s house having the most delicious dinner. Hope I finish before they get home!
When I`m bored, I like to superglue Doritos to my cat and make it run around the house like a stegosaurus.
Who called them fake potatoes and not imitaters.
Ran into a former supervisor from my last job today, kept driving.