Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You say `pervert with a telescope` ... I say `biological astronomer`.
It hurts when you goto unfriend someone only to discover they beat you to it
Do you ever order a club sandwich just to feel like you`re a part of something?
I wish I could have the Price Is Right audience around whenever I`m making important life decisions.
Is it bad that "WINE" is always on my grocery list? At the top? In all caps?
Is it wrong to drop off drunks at houses that aren`t theirs?
I do my best proofreading after I hit send.
Today is that day where anything you read online could be totally made up. Oh, wait, that`s every day.
Dear family, thank you for all those wonderful childhood memories ... Here`s my therapy bill.
Recent survey asked people in the U.S if there are too many immigrants: 17% said yes, 83% said Lo siento, no hablan Inglés
Being a little bit crazy is like being a little bit pregnant - you can only hide it for so long.
Not to brag, but most of the problems that take Dora the Explorer 30 minutes to figure out, I can solve in like 18-20 minutes.
Honk if you wanna see the finger
I’ve spent way too much of my life wondering why food doesn’t rhyme with good.
Million Dollar Idea: A restaurant that offers Coke and Pepsi....