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People assume when I yawn that I’ve lost interest in what they have to say but truth be told, I was never interested.
Parts of a worm: 1) Worm
Halfway through singing a romantic ballad to my cat, it occurred to me that I`m going to die alone.
Behind every great women is a man checking out her a$$
I`m not everyone`s cup of tea ... I`d rather be someone`s shot of tequila away.
Lasagna is just spaghetti flavored cake.
If a picture is worth a thousand words then why does everyone only buy Playboy magazines for the articles?
I know 3 facts about you: 1.You can’t say ‘M’ without your lips touching. 2.You’re trying it now looking like an idiot. 3. Now you’re smiling
I was standing in front of the mirror eariler, admiring my six pack for hours. But it got really warm so I put it back in the fridge.
All a girl wants is a guy that can make her laugh ... and not just when he drops his pants.
Note to self: Thanks for always being there.
There is nothing worse then trying to watch porn with a slow internet connection.
They should make a "How It`s Made" episode on how "How It`s Made" is made.
Of all the horrible ways to die I think healthy eating sounds the most painful.
I just finish reading "50 shades of gray" by Sherwin Williams. I don`t see what all the hype is about these paint brochures.