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You never really know someone until you break up with them. If they don’t go crazy and try to kill you than maybe you should give them a second chance.
Why periods? Why can`t Mother Nature just text me and be like, "Whaddup Girl?, You ain`t pregnant. Have a great week. Talk to ya next month."
Just saw that my wife was googling ballroom dancing lessons and now I`m hoping that she`s having an affair.
The best way to scare a man is to use the urinal stall next to him. This works exceptionally well if you are a woman.
The next time someone asks me what I`m doing, I`m gonna reply "I`m breathing 2 stay alive how about u"?
Anybody else have that annoying problem of Work and Family interfering with your FaceBook time?
wants to come back as a bird after I die.... just so i can sh!t on the people who piss me off.
You can dress for success or undress for it. It depends on what type of work you want.
I am as lazy as the guy who designed the Japanses Flag
Rob Stalker for congressman........Stalker....a name you can trust.
Screw it, just add another blade." -Gillette marketing concepts.
If I have nosy neighbors, I always like to dig five 7 ft. x 3 ft. x 6 ft. holes in the back yard and every couple of days, Fill one in.
The saying, "Say no to drugs" has always made me laugh. If you`re talking to drugs, it`s probably too late to say no to them.
I like to finish other people’s sentences because my version is better.
Drank way too much beer last night. Didn`t leave any for this morning.