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If your roommate never walked in on you naked, you`re not naked near enough.
When I want to trim down my friend`s Facebook list I give my opinion and let nature do the rest.
This Crazy Weather Makes Me Want To Masturbate Furiously!!!
Does anyone else make transformer noises when changing sex positions? Asking for a friend.
I`m concerned my kids will end up in therapy because I didn`t tell everyone on FB how much I love them.
Guys that try to pick up girls on facebook are pathetic. Girls if you agree, message me your number so we can talk about it.
I keep graphic, full frontal nude pictures of myself on my cell phone in case anyone ever hacks it. That`ll teach `em.
Marriage. The world`s oldest form of identity theft.
I puked in the backseat of my friend`s brand new Mustang in the Fall of 1989. There wasn`t any social networking back then, so I`m telling you all now...
My hand has never pumped so hard for a little squirt. Stupid empty soap bottle.
Morning comes in 3 sizes: 1) Early. 2) Too early. 3) Way too early
Scent is the sense most tied to memory. "Common" is the sense least tied to people.
Whenever I see a woman breastfeeding in public, my first reaction is to get in line.
You would think a popular place like the Krusty Krab would have more than two employees.
if you don`t have anything nice to say, come sit by me, and we can make fun of people together.