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Got interrupted downloading the new version of iTunes by a pop up that asked if I wanted to download the even newer version of iTunes.
Apparently putting Alka-Seltzer in my mouth while getting baptized and pretending I’m being possessed by the devil is not funny.
Have you ever looked at someone and realized "WTF" is always what immediately comes to mind?
Have you ever just sat there and realized how weird you are?
Don`t put off for tomorrow what you can do today, because if you enjoy it today you can do it again tomorrow.
It`s so frustrating when your hitman doesn`t answer the phone after you`ve made amends with someone
It’s funny how 1 text, 1 song, 1 mistake, 1 lie, 1 truth, and 1 person could change your mood in 1 second.
The mailman just delivered an 8-track of Boz Skaggs Greatest Hits. I guess this fulfills my Columbia House obligation.
After all these years I finally figured out that that last little piece of soap is more trouble than it`s worth.
I hate being bipolar, it`s great .
They`ll find Bigfoot before they find a Smoothie store that`s been open for more than 2 years.
Like a good neighbor, stay over there
My Kid: Can we go to a haunted house this year? Me: What`s wrong with the one we live in? My Kid: WHAT?! Me: Goodnight, son.
The only correct answer to the question are you sleeping is no.
I just googled, "understanding women," the computer crashed.