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You guys ever trip out on the fact that Indian people eat Indian food for breakfast?
When I bang my toe against something, it’s like I pressed a button that plays every curse word I know.
Stop screaming, lady. All I said was `this is how pornos start`. It`s just elevator talk.
The Hulk just texted me a picture of a zucchini, I think?
I`ve been told that I never take responsibility for anything, and it`s all your fault.
Another day, another chance to make someone say, "Oh, now that`s just WRONG"...
Those teardrop tattoos mean you cried during the notebook, right?
cavemen were posting on walls before it was cool
I really want to see you tonight. So could you please leave the blinds up and the curtains open?
Thanksgiving advice: Sit at the kids table for as many years as possible.
I don`t even think it`s possible for a bear to cook porridge.
Google must be a woman...it knows everything.
Facebook reminds me of what my grandpa always used to say, `Who are you people and what are you all jabbering about anyway?`
You sure do seem to know a lot about love and relationships for someone who spends 22 hours a day on Facebook.
Good thing I`m judged on my actions and not my thoughts.