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Here`s an idea...You go away and I`ll stop ignoring you.
Accidentally used AOL.com, I betting the employees there are celebrating and think they have a sure future.
How did the inventor of the clock know what time it was?
Steve Jobs` text was meant to say: "I reign as CEO of Apple" Iphone autocorrect strikes again!
If one goes to online college, do they have to haze them self?
Its real cute how pedestrians confuse “right of way” with immortality.
Me asking if you want anything from Starbucks is my way of telling you I am going to be very, very late
Kids today are so coddled- Elf on the Shelf, Toy Story. In my day, if dolls magically came to life, they murdered you and everyone you loved
I dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig. It`s not a beautiful poem, but it`s very deep.
The only thing worse than sitting on a cold toilet seat is sitting on a warm one.
I wonder what happens when a doctor’s wife eats an apple a day.
Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it`s up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with!!
New rule: If I hold the door open for you and you walk by without thanking me I`m guaranteed at least one attempt on trying to trip you.
Went by the bank today and the female teller was flirting with me which was weird considering she saw my account balance.
Girls here`s an idea, instead of spending all that money on makeup. Just buy your guy a bottle of Jack Daniels.