Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Am I the only one who calculates how much sleep I can get before I go to bed?
How did the person who invented the first clock know what time it was?
In actuality, Batman is just a more violent and dark version of Inspector Gadget.
I`m a bad multitasker and even a questionable monotasker
WARNING: Objects in profile pics are not as pretty as they appear.
It takes balls to be a man.
What`s worse to have stuck in your head; a knife or All About That Bass?
If you ever want to know what you look like to the world, don’t look in a mirror, have a child draw you.
I have very poor ninja skills when it comes to staring at cleavage.
I just got an email telling me how I can have fuller, firmer breasts. I can`t wait to show them to my wife!!
If you don`t do stupid sh!t while you`re young, you`ll have nothing to talk about later in life while sitting at the bar.
Vodka isn`t the answer... but it makes you forget the question :P
My flock of sheep were stolen from my farm last month. I`ve not been able to sleep since.
Have you ever noticed that half way through the ColonialPenn insurance commercial, Alex Trebek tries to pull a Jedi-Mind-Trick on us.... "This is the insurance you are looking for." (I didn`t get enough sleep last night.)
Every so often you come across a person who always smiles no matter what, that person is the reason why random bitch slaps should be a thing