Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Still haven`t taken down the Christmas tree. Screw it. We now have a Super Bowl tree.
Everybody stop what you`re doing and play with crayons!! Enjoy the day
Sorry that most of my hilarious jokes are borderline inappropriate. And by sorry, I mean you`re welcome.
For years I thought hitchhikers were just complimenting my driving.
I just found if you tuck one part of a pants leg into your sock,,,, people expect less of you.
Light travels faster than sound. That`s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
This week is the 40th anniversary of the Rubik`s Cube. If you kids don`t know what a Rubik`s Cube is, it`s what people would stare at without human interaction before cellphones. Mel
I`ll be posting telepathically today.. So if you think of something funny, that was me.
I think even hospital gowns cover more than my insurance does...
If it doesn’t make you afraid to go to the bathroom the next day, it’s not really hot sauce.
Come on. Let`s all go and be happy in front of some miserable people
Those who tell you not to run with scissors are just trying to steal your scissors. Run.
Never trust a man wearing more than 0 necklaces.
I keep an identical glass of vodka next to the water on my bedside table for a refreshing morning game of Russian Roulette