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The Bible is pretty accurate...Especially when thrown at close range.
I just got gas for $1.79... Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell.
Vodka is the answer...but I can`t remember the question.
Couples have an amount they can spend up to without discussing with each other. Mine is around $50. My wife`s is around $643.27. Apparently
There should be a day in between Saturday and Sunday.
That`s not chapstick in my front pocket.
Tomorrow, history will be made. Months and months of advertisements and anticipation has led up to this historic day. America will see firsthand what is surely to be a historic event, and I am proud to say I will do my part and pick up my copy of Halo 4.
People ask me what my secret is to losing weight and I tell them not having money to buy food
If A-B-C-D didn’t drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to be so rushed.
IMPORTANT REMINDER: Sunday is Mother`s Day, which means Facebook is gonna be annoying as crap...
I would be a great procrastinator ... if I could ever get around to it.
Give a man a beer and he wastes an hour, teach him how to brew, and he wastes a lifetime.
LIFE HACK: Sneak into doctor`s waiting rooms instead of subscribing to magazines.
I procrastinate so much I’ll probably put off death and never die.
Oh really? It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown? How many muscles does it take to mind your own business