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I will not be satisfied until I see a car with one woman sticker and twelve cat stickers.
I cant believe I saw a woman wearing slippers in church today! I almost dropped my beer.
United States is where moms get a day and shark get a whole week.
Christmas came early this year! My neighbor just upgraded our internet speed... I mean his internet speed. Or whatever...
Just joined the support group Hokey Pokey Anonymous ... A place to turn yourself around. ;)
The right man will love you unconditionally, will be loyal, and will always be happy to see you. ... Oh wait, That`s my dog. My dog does that.
What is the difference between a Snow-man & a Snow-lady? Snowballs!
The way you feel when your phone dies is exactly how Cinderella must have felt at midnight
I was going to do some spring cleaning, but the snow has ruined it for me.
If you come to myspace and twitter about my yahoo, can I google over your facebook?
I am not sure, but I think I just heard my cup of coffee say, "You are my b*tch"
I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be?" I think people are taking it as a challenge.
If they were really trying to prepare high school kids for “real life” they would offer a class called “working with a$$holes”
The best part about pooping with the bathroom door open in the morning is being able to see everyones face at Starbucks.
I`d rather be someone`s shot of whiskey than everyone`s cup of tea.