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I don`t think I could love any person as much as I love BACON... Mmmmm Bacon...
It`s not stretching if it doesn`t involve crazy dinosaur noises.
So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the “Jags” and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the “Bucs,” what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
I won`t be impressed with technology until I can download food.
Excessive consumption of alcohol seems like a good idea.
A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom means that I dropped them on the way from the dryer
When Life rains on your parade, get out the Slip-n-Slide.
If rolling your eyes burned calories, Facebook would be my gym.
I’m an organ donor, but I’m pretty sure all they’re going to use is my liver for “after” photos.
I`d like to share my innermost thoughts and feelings with all of you, but I`m afraid they`ll be used against me in court someday.
You don`t even want to know the things I have done for a Klondike Bar...
Ever since I installed AdBlock, all the single ladies in my area seemed to have lost interest.
All a girl wants is a guy that can make her laugh ... and not just when he drops his pants.
I don`t know exactly who`s health I`m drinking to, but they`re going to be immortal at this rate
Get Dora and Boots on this missing plane case now, Dora solves the case everytime