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I think it`s safe to say that my 2 year old is definitely more excited to see the fire truck next door than my neighbor.
I put mirrors on the ceiling because I like to see how I look when I`m eating pizza alone.
I don`t think I could love any person as much as I love BACON... Mmmmm Bacon...
Hey ladies breastfeeding in public,...Why don`t you ever smile in my pictures?
I just realized there are more toes in the world than people
Don`t act like your not impressed.
If it looks like a pig and walks like a pig, do me a favor & tell my ex girlfriend I said hello.
It should be socially acceptable to end any boring conversation by shouting "UNSUBSCRIBE!"
I was all ears until you said something that sounded like advice.
This coffee would work better if I could throw it at people.
Learning how to break wooden boards in karate is important in case you ever get in a fight with a house.
Nothing says “friend zone” quite like a woman saying “you’re like a brother to me.” Unless you’re from Alabama.
I just thought you should know, I just did all the laundry and didn`t lose a sock to the dryer monster...
USB sounds like a backup in case the USA fails.
For a one-way mission to Mars, we should send a blogger. Not so they can blog about the experience, but so there`d be one less blogger.