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7 billion people on the planet and I can only tolerate maybe 10.
No one is more confident than a drunk girl wearing a guy’s hat sideways.
With the promise of Free Drinks or Food, I’m willing to go pretty much anywhere.
Well bugger... Just realised the plant ive been watering for 2 years is fake.
If you think your having a bad day ... You could be digging your own grave at gun point and find buried treasure.
whenever i`m bored I just expect at any moment for the Koolaid man to break through my wall and take me on a deliciously refreshing adventure!
Next time I get a bunch of, "likes," on a comment I post on someones status/photo etc.. Im gonna edit my comment and change the whole comment to, "like this status if you would f*ck your father." Just to make anyone else who reads it from then on think ill about the people who liked it. ™
I know I should lift weights, but those things are heavy!!
When do you take 5 hr energy? Right when I get off work ..12am!..beer here I come!
Guys I can`t be leave I`m sharing this with you, but I saw my self on TV. After I turned it off.
Facebook`s list of "suggested friends" is quite literally a list of people I`ve been avoiding my entire life.
Sometimes you run into people who just make your day more bearable. Those people are called bartenders.
I could really go for a vegetable sandwich! Maybe some tomatoes, some spinach, cucumbers... With cheese. And a hamburger patty. And bacon. Ok I really want a bacon cheeseburger.
I just want to be rich enough to be referred to as eccentric instead of crazy.
When I see a girl with a lot of makeup, I want to use my finger and write WASH ME on her face…