Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I put the o in illiterate!
I plan on getting "sidewalk nap" drunk tonight.
Boss: Why aren`t you working? Me: I didn`t see you coming!
Put glitter on top of all your friends ceiling fans blades........... Wait till summer... Enjoy!
I thought my name was "Stop encouraging him" until I was 11.
Perhaps we should hold elections on the last Friday of November, with polling stations at Walmart, Target and Apple
Having to share a room with your spouse is absolute nonsense. Even kids get their own rooms...
I forget, on which side of my dinner plate am I supposed to set my phone?
I failed the emergency broadcast test. My apologies to all the employees I shoved to the ground while screaming
Your things are terrific.
So can we just skip to summer now?
Answering your cell when you don`t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.
I don`t get women. Also, I don`t understand them.
People says nothing is imposible.. But i do nothing everyday!!
How easily you`re offended is directly proportional to how dumb you are.