Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
“They dared me to” is ALWAYS a valid excuse.
To all my Facebook friends. Have a happy St. Patrick`s day, and all the festivities this weekend. Stay safe, enjoy life, and if you by chance happen to find a bartender who is bad at math...give me a call :)
I decided I`m not doing the whole clock-back routine this year. If you need me, I`ll be in the frickin future.
People say love is the best feeling ever. However I think finding a toilet right away when you have diarrhea is better.
Please God take me back to being 12 & let me start again & mess up my life in an entirely different way. I have fresh ideas.
I`ve never said "in all seriousness" and actually meant it.
just realised SATURDAY has the word TURD in it
Fact: No woman has ever shot a man while he is doing the dishes!
Guys you should never overreact when you hear the words, " The babysitter is late."
Some parts of the world use Facebook to overthrow evil dictators. Me? I just want you all to know how delicious my sandwich is.
If you don`t remember her name in the morning, take her to Starbucks.
You`ll all be sorry when I figure out how to breathe fire.
I wish the guy made of money in the Gieco commercial would ride his motorcycle through my town.
I don`t know about you, but I`ve thought about running away more as an adult than I ever did as a child.
You know you had an awesome night when you need sunglasses to get food out the fridge.