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All I`m saying is, China could have a much better relationship with the West if they shared their dragons with us. But, whatever, be that way.
Just when you think you have the answer a woman will be there to change the question.
I give 2 star movies 5 stars on Netflix because if I sat through this piece of sh!t, I want you to as well.
We have those sticky traps all around the house and I just found one moved clear across the room with all sorts of hair on it....so if anyone see`s a BALD mouse running around, it belongs to me
The condoms need to be located in the baby aisle, next to the 30 dollar diapers and 20 dollar formula cans
Futons are the most disappointing Transformers ever.
That`s a lot of selfies for someone that claims to be emotionally stable
Objects in spandex are larger than they appear
My "To Do" list today only had one entry: "Nothing". And it took me all day to finish it!
Boobs are like model trains. They were originally for children but grown men always want to play with them.
I noticed you’re not yourself today. I really like it.
I dont hate you but, if you put `just about to jump off a cliff` as your facebook statuses i would poke you
I wish my bank account refilled as fast as my laundry basket.
Whenever you`re powerless, remember: A single one of your pubic hairs can shut down a restaurant.
Just been watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there`s already been a wrist injury...but I should be ok in a couple days.