Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Adam: Eve, you read the terms and conditions before using that Apple product right? Eve: Uh yeah, totally
How many "zero likes" do you have to get on Facebook before you realize nobody gives a crap about you
Advantage #46 of being single. I have entire closets that are completely empty.
Got a passcode lock that takes a picture whenever someone tries the wrong code to look in my phone. I now have fifty pictures of drunk me.
Damn…I’m having an out of money experience.
i just peed so hard that I laughed a little bit
I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says “haha good one” and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
Relatives comin` ~ hide all awesome stuff!
I was doing laundry today and accidentally left out a very large fart. 4 people turned around. For a minute, I thought I was on "The Voice".
There are two rules to success in life - 1. Don`t tell people everything you know
Fun Game: Walk down a hallway with both arms outstretched to the walls while shouting, "Hug me or turn around!!!"
Karma may "work" but I think that bitch takes a lot of days off
I like to think that people that unfriend me wake up months later regretting that irreversible and life altering decision.
Nothing starts my day off quite like an inspirationsl status!...May your day go fast, your socks match and your underwear no ride up your a$$.
NO, I didn’t say you WERE stupid. I said, you ARE stupid. There is nothing past tense about it.