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I don’t think it’s a coincidence that morning and mourning sound the same.
I wonder if "Sober Me" knows that "Drunk Me" can Breakdance?
I like to friend friends of friends then unfriend the first friend to freak out the friend of a friend.
It’s called karma, and it’s pronounced “haha! Screw you!”
You know it`s a good night when you wake up with gum in your bellybutton.
I`m glad it`s finally hot enough to complain about how hot it is.
When I was six, my dad threw me into the pool thinking I would instantly learn to swim. I probably would if it had water in it.
If there`s no god then how do you explain yoga pants?
I got caught peeing in the swimming pool today... The lifeguard shouted so loud I almost fell in.
Sometimes, when I wake up in the morning, I`ll read 4 or 5 status updates and I`ll cry, because I relieze how dysfunctional some of my friends life`s are. but then I`ll smile when I remember things like the leftover pizza from last night sitting on the coffee table!
I believe in karma which means I can do bad things to people all day long and just assume they deserve it.
is running out of excuses for the stupid things I do. Please submit suggestions below.
How strange, some guy just waved half of a peace sign at me...
"Always leave them wanting more" is my new mantra when paying bills.
I’m watching this show on stalkers, still haven’t seen any of you yet.