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To those girls who always put"CRYING" at the end of every status, seriously what do you expect us to do, inbox you a tissue?
Exercise? More like extra fries.
My medical ID bracelet says "just let it happen"
If you go shopping at Walmart and no one stares at you as you walk by, you`re one of them.
Is there a 5-second Rule for when you drop babies? ...Asking for a friend. JK people!!! LOL ;)
If you’re happy and you know it, you’re probably exhausting to be around.
Drinking coffee is a fun way to become dependent on paying money to wake up.
I always give my extra money to Charity. She is usually on the main stage around 11pm.
A man is as faithful as his options
heyy lol
Nobody cleans a house faster than a man expecting to get laid.
UFC is 10% fighting, and 90% advertising the next fight
Your so old, you knew Burger King when he was a prince.
Who ever invented the knock knock joke should get the no bell prize.
Really, 6 more inches of snow today. My front yard is getting more action than me.