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I don’t hate you, I’m just not necessarily excited about your existence.
I prefer my kale with a silent "K"
Your french fries are just my french fries on the wrong plate.
It`s funny to watch all these people Bumping Up their own posts.
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She is nine-seven now, and we don`t know where they hell she is.
I was an atheist, until I realized I was a sex god.
All the advantages right-handed people have are cancelled out when we have to do our banking at the drive-up ATM left-handed.
I think my credit card looks weird. Could you send me a picture of yours so I can compare?
I was sitting on the toilet when the guy in the stall next to me started smoking. Disgusting. I nearly couldn`t finish my sandwich.
I`m at my neighbor`s house having the most delicious dinner. Hope I finish before they get home!
If the shoe fits . . . buy one in every color
In America, someone is shot every 15 seconds ... How is that person still alive?
Today I saw something that reminded me of you. But don`t worry, I flushed and everything went back to normal.
One day, long, long ago, there lived a woman who did not whine, nag, or complain. But it was a long time ago, and it was just for that one day.
In the South, they remove the `g` from the end of most words. Just sayin`.