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Yesterday I accidentally sent a naked picture of myself to everyone in my address book. Not only was it embarrassing, but it cost a fortune in stamps.
I don`t always drink beer. But when I do, I always lie about not always drinking beer.
Until today, I thought American Horror Story was a book about marriage.
I refuse to jump on the `I hate Mondays` bandwagon. I hate all workdays equally
If you’re happy and you know it, you’re probably exhausting to be around.
They say money talks, mine just waves goodbye.
Amazing how many people just stroll into tattoo parlors and say "Give me the dumbest thing you can think of."
The irony of all this is, the internet was created to save us time...
I have said it before. I will at it again. If anyone is into wife swapping. I will take a dirtbike or a puppy. Hit me up.
Mornings are the best when they start in the afternoon.
I would like my FB friends to know that the opinions and comments I make on FB in no way reflect the actual thoughts, opinions or actions of me, or my family. Its all for fun. The only posts that I actually mean are the same ones you agree with.
What`s Forrest Gump`s password? 1forest1
"Ah, OK. Yes. Now I see it." -Me lying to someone who`s pointing out a constellation
Calories? I think you mean delicious points!
It`s kind of creepy that you noticed me staring at you.