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Coffee – because most people frown on alcohol first thing in the morning.
Women can walk around all day long in a bikini, but God forbid if you see them in their bras and panties. I will never comprehend this.
Apparently sleeping your way to the top doesn`t mean dozing off in meetings or taking naps in the copier room.
A recent survey of one person revealed that 100% of me thinks that I should leave work early.
You laugh because I`m different ........... I laugh because I farted.
I just saw a bus that you would look amazing under.
just wanted to tell the weekend that I love you and I will be back, I will not let the weekdays take me away from you.
I just assume I do everything wrong since I don`t have a wife to confirm it.
Don`t text me while I`m texting you. Now I have to go back and change my text.
You’re not important enough to have haters. You just have a few people who notice you’re an a$$hole.
I`m convinced girls only want one thing from guys... all of our hoodies. -Bfanch
I feel sorry for people who take everything way too seriously.
I think that a lot of conflict that happened in the Wild West could`ve been avoided had architects in those days just made their towns big enough for everyone.
Anyone know how much snow is too much snow not to go to the liquor store?
Of course it`s you....there`s no f*cking way it`s me...