Daily Silly Status

Today`s secret word is "epic". When someone says the secret word scream real loud and punch them in the face.

My age is very inappropriate for my behavior.

Hey pigs, stop trying to swallow entire apples. You keep dying!

My arm fell asleep, which is understandable, considering how boring the rest of my body has been.

Next time you are in a restaurant, give this a thought. The fork you are using has been in the mouth of hundreds of people. Now look at the people eating right by you. Scary, right?

I hate how my friends are always trying to convince me to do extreme activities. Like bungee jumping, skydiving or leaving the house.

Felt like being Bad today, like an Outlaw Bad, felt like doing something illegal, so I ran through the house ripping off all the Mattress Tags..... Come and get me Coppers, but you won`t take me alive.......................

I like to say, "Well, enough with the small talk" before anyone has a chance to speak.

Dr. Seuss could have been the greatest rapper ever.

We should start seeing Valentine`s Day crap in the stores any minute now.

Is it just me or do mirrors look really sexy?

Boobs are like model trains. They were originally for children but grown men always want to play with them.

Chip clips are for quitters.

So it turns out being an adult is mostly just googling how to do stuff.

I need to find a woman that loves me for my money....but doesn`t understand math. (<>..,<>)