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I think I`m gonna shave my legs so that there`s less wind resistance when I run to the fridge for a beer.
Some men get naked when they have to count up to 21...
The part of "no" that I don´t understand is the part where I don´t get what I want
I`ve been struggling with my laziness. I can`t decide if I should sit down and do nothing or lie down and do nothing.
My mom always said that I`d never find a man dumb enough to marry me. Well, I showed her...
I took out an ad for a girlfriend recently and 10 guys tried to give me theirs.
I dreamt I was you..I hated myself. Luckily I woke up..woah that was close.
When the nurse calls my name at the doctor’s office, I like to run through the waiting room like I got called on The Price is Right.
Sitting out in my front yard pointing a hair dryer at speeding cars to see if any slow down.
I dropped my affordable health care because I couldn`t afford it .
love me or leave me,,HEY!!! where is everybody going?
Her profile said she was a stone cold freak. Turns out she was just a wrestling fan with bad capitalization skills. :(
Being an adult is mostly pretending to like wine and saying "the economy" a lot.
Breaking News: Viagra shippment stolen... Cops are looking for a gang of hardened criminals.
Why be part of the problem when you can be all of it?