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Vodka and denial are cheaper than therapy.
No one appreciates the special genius of your conversation like the dog does
I hate that feeling when you feel you wrote something good on facebook and then nobody likes your status. Depressing... :(
I never said I hated you. I just said that if you where on fire, I would consider roasting marshmallows. Big difference.
Thought for the day : Why was the cat in the bag in the first place?
In my experience, temporary insanity can last a long time.
I miss my ex a lot... but my aim is getting better.
Parenting gets a lot harder when you can no longer say "I`m calling Santa!"
Whenever I hear about a man jumping off a bridge I can`t help but wonder how long he was dating my ex.
I don`t need your advice. I do a great job of screwing up my life all by myself, thank you!
I wish there was a room where we could go and see all the stuff we have ever lost.
Follow your dreams. Unless it’s a person ... apparently they call that stalking.
I was wondering why some couples don`t go to the gym together but I guess some relationships just don`t work out...
If zombies ever attack just go to Costco...they have concrete walls...years of foods and supplies...and best of all the zombies can`t get in without a Costco membership card.
Bad decisions make good stories.