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I could really go for a beer and a million dollars.
"This place needs to be sticky, wall to wall." - Every 2 year old with a Popsicle.
Gift cards: The best way to say "Here, you figure it out..."
Of course you don’t think you’re ignorant! That’s the definition of ignorance!
I chose the wrong fork in the road, took the road less travelled and got off the beaten path and now I don`t know where the hell I am.
We get it people on Facebook. You`re married, you have kids, you`re happy. Calm down.
My right thumb is in the best shape of my life.
you know what`s funny? Obviously neither do I or I would have posted it.
I see subway employees are still having their "how much lettuce can you fit on a sandwich" contest.
Nintendo should handle education, I don’t remember half the crap from high school but I know all of Super Mario World’s secrets.
If Facebook has taught us anything, it`s that a lot of people are not quite ready for a Spelling Bee.
I bought a screwdriver bit for my electric drill. It`s useful for converting ordinary phillips screws into non removable screws.
*Goes to the gym. Takes a selfie in front of the weights. Leaves.
I’m the type of person who looks at the menu for five minutes but ends up ordering the same exact thing every time.
I think Facebook now comes under the housework category.