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I will never be to old to laugh when somone farts in a public bathroom peeing..
"I really should buckle down and get my rap album going"-Me, every time I drink
Currently helping my girlfriend look for her chocolates that I ate 5 hours ago...
Why is maple syrup so expensive?.. It grows on trees doesn`t it?
Didn`t sleep much but I got a few solid hours of worrying done.
I assume people with dark tinted windows pick their nose more aggressively than the rest of us.
If you can say "I made six figures last year," you either have a well paying job or you`re the worst employee at a toy factory
If it looks like a pig and walks like a pig, do me a favor & tell my ex girlfriend I said hello.
The boss said I should let my creative juices flow. What he doesn’t know is that my creative juices are vodka and cranberry.
Thank you, true crime show, for saying that was a reenactment. I was pretty upset your camera person didn`t stop that murder.
Fun Game: Walk down a hallway with both arms outstretched to the walls while shouting, "Hug me or turn around!!!"
I have no idea how I used to look for things in the dark before I had a cellphone.
I hate it when I open my fridge and get punched by a bear... =/
I have decided to give up procrastinating for Lent ... oh, crap.
If we all had to wear a warning label, what would yours say?