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Diet tip: your pants will never get too tight if you don’t wear any.
Remember the good old days when LOL meant "Laugh out loud" and not "I can`t think of a good reply"?
Was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently, "A way out" wasn`t the right answer...
So I was thinking... We should get drunk and make bad decisions.
I`m worried that my guardian angel is a crack head.
I’ve got a friend whose nickname is “Shagger”. You might think that’s pretty cool. She doesn’t like it
Do you think when Spider-Man gets stoned with Batman and the Hulk he sometimes thinks the spider on his chest is real and freaks out?
why do people with bad teeth always have a smile on there face
Keep it down kids!.. Daddy is trying to think of something stupid to say on the internet.
been there, done that, wrote the book and have the t-shirt to prove it. What more do you want!
I think I`m funny - but looks aren`t everything
Chip clips are for quitters.
Every photo taken inside my house has at least one laundry basket in the background.
I got food poisoning today. I don`t know when I`ll use it though.
Given enough coffee, I believe I could rule the world.