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The naked truth is better, than d dressed-up lie :) Aa
I advise you...don`t mess with me, I know karate, kung fu,judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.
Please, if I ever offend you, it’s because I meant to.
Q: What do you call apple-flavoured marijuana? A: iPot
If you have alphabet fridge magnets and morals, you probably shouldn`t invite me over.
LADIES: Not all men get into a relationship just for sex. Some just need a personal chef.
If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and looks like a duck then it could be a dragon doing a duck impersonation.
I just read more people are killed by toasters than sharks.So if you`re swimming in the ocean and see a toaster SWIM FOR YOUR LIFE!
If you don`t know me by now....I`m a really good stalker.
M?o?n?, T?u?e?s?, W?e?d?, T?h?u?r?s?, Friday !!!!
LIKE if you check your phone to see what time it is and then check it again because the first time you weren’t paying attention.
The best thing about the internet is knowledge. You have all this knowledge at your fingertips! And we get to share what we learn with others! Oh...wait a second. I forgot about porn. OK I take it back. PORN is the best thing about the internet!
Babies are really cute until you meet one that`s not a picture.
I`m glad the Eclipse is over so I can go back to staring directly into the sun.