Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I took a sexual harassment course yesterday...I think I`m going to be pretty good at it.
My life is just one long improvisation.
He is proud of himself. He finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
You know that tingly feeling you get when you have a crush on someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.
Today, I did it hard, I did it loud, it was wet, and I did it four times in a row. I wish I wasn’t talking about sneezing.
The only F word out a woman`s mouth that scares me is "fine."
If I liked one of your pics from 12 weeks ago, doesn`t mean I`m stalking you...It just means you haven`t looked nice in awhile
I`m convinced that homeless people have all the shopping carts with 4 good wheels.
"They are more afraid of you than you are of them." -people who know even less about me than they do about bears
Guys, if she says she`s crazy, she`s harmless. The real crazy ones never give you a damn clue.
We should remove the warning labels from everything and let the stupidity problem take care of itself.
Screw it, just add another blade." -Gillette marketing concepts.
Fact: No one has ever "Jumped in the shower."
A part of me wants to go on a diet and eat healthy. Sadly that part of me is a liar.
I put the PRO in inappropriate!