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You`d think my neighbors could have the decency to ignore me back.
Fun thing to do: Go to a parking lot and put sticky notes on peoples cars saying "sorry for the damage" and watch them look for it
Wow! Sit-Downs are way easier than Sit-Ups!
OMG! A CUSTOMER ALMOST DIED IN FRONT OF ME TODAY!! But then I counted to 10 and put the scissors back in the drawer. She never even knew.
I followed my heart...now I`m at the liqour store
I can sum up my life in three words: “just browsing, thanks.”
All I ask is that if we arm the teachers, that the librarians get silencers.
What do you get when you inject human DNA into a goat? Apparently banned from the petting zoo...
You can’t choose your family, but you can ignore their phone calls.
I spend more time looking in the fridge than I actually do eating.
Why is it called tourist season if we can`t shoot them?
According to the 19 citations I got for trespassing and peeping, "neighborhood watch" isn`t what I thought it was.
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole....
That awkward moment when you can’t tell if it’s a Halloween costume or their regular clothes…
Youth is wasted on the young.