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Forget the hero part, I just like the fact that Batman punches clowns.
Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church. Everyone looks at you in digust, but deep down inside they want some.
How about a T.V. show that just explains the backstory on all of the "For External Use Only" warning labels.
If monogamy is sex with only one person, what is origami?
Still waiting for a criminal on Law and Order to say,,, "Hey,, Aren`t you Ice-T?"
With great power comes great electricity bill.
Marriage: where all the excitement, laughter and sex is gone but she’s still there.
Cats don`t come with instructions, so how is anyone supposed to know you can`t put them in the washing machine.
If you give up smoking, drinking, and sex, you don’t live longer, just seems longer.
Spiderman is just another guy who ends up with sticky hands and covered in white stuff after being on the web.
I was trying to have a mature arguement but "look, you ignorant f*cktard" just popped out
Your screenshots of text message conversations tell me: 1. you have a great sense of humor 2. to never trust you
For some reason I`m an extremely secretive person. Don`t ask me why
My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It`s called lunch.
That awkward moment when the creepy guy in the white van doesn`t have candy...