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At least mosquitos are attracted to me.
I accidentally wore green today. And I probably will be drunk later but NOT because it`s St. Patrick`s Day, because it`s Monday.
My greatest fear is standing on stage in front of millions while my Google search history is read aloud...
this website used to be full of funny statuses. Then the 8-year olds came in.
Why I stay slim? I once was forced to pay for two plane tickets, one for a person who wasn`t travelling with me. That`s why.
Too bad you can’t get abs from laughing at your own jokes, because I would have an 8 pack.
Home is where the bag filled with plastic bags filled with plastic bags filled with plastic bags is.
Going to: ? Paris ? New York ? London ? KITCHEN... I`m hungry
Yes I stalk you, but only as a friend.
I`m at the facebook saloon, drinking all night long
Bitch, you`re just like monday, nobody likes you -_-
CPR is the human version of blowing in to a video game cartridge hoping it`ll work again.
I`m living in a drama-free bubble today. Respect the bubble, people, respect it!
I dont care how you live your life, so just let me live mine. Yeah whatever.
Friending someone on Facebook and complaining about what they post is like phoning someone to tell them you don’t want to talk to them.