Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
This is just a quick shout-out to bread bowls, waffle cones and other edible containers. You guys are doing a great job.
Which wine goes best with more wine?
Of course it`s you....there`s no f*cking way it`s me.
On the subject of sex, my parents told me `the man goes on top, and the woman underneath.` No wonder I got divorced. For 3 years my ex-wife and I slept in bunk beds.
Someone said to me earlier, "Your face looks very familiar". I said, "I know, I`ve had it a long time."
This year for Lent I`m giving up hanging out with all the people who gave up drinking for Lent.
Ever had one of those days that you feel like you should have skipped the morning coffee and went straight for the booze?
If your wife has 2 phones, save both numbers under one name : “Wife” Never save them as "Wife1" and “Wife2" ~ a husband from the hospital
I am surprised Cheech and Chong have not filmed a new movie -"Cheech and Chong Smoke Colorado"
I hate it when I think I`m buying organic vegetables and I get home to discover they`re just regular doughnuts.
I would like to thank you people for letting me know its Friday every week. Its thoughts like this that keep me on Facebook.
I have difficulty sleeping at night because I lay awake obsessing over life`s mysteries, like how exactly does paper beat rock.
I think I`m funny - but looks aren`t everything
So who wants to tell the person who just threw a new phone book on my porch about the internet?
F*ck you, regular cars that look like police cars. Also vice versa.