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"I love Justin bieber" well I love McDonalds but you don`t see me making an account pretending to be a f*cking chicken nugget do you...
Amazon’s recommendations are like that friend who heard you say “ninja” once and then got you ninja stuff for your birthday every year for twenty years
I gauge a person’s wealth by the level of protection on their iPhone. No case, huge salary.
Technically, I don`t have to do anything until my wife wakes up and realizes I`m not doing anything.
NO, I didn`t say you WERE stupid. I said, you ARE stupid. There is nothing past tense about it.
its not the up`s and down`s that bring you down...its the jerks!!
You are living proof that the Lord is testing me.
First you`re telling me to be myself, then you`re telling me to stop being an idiot. Make up your mind!
I’m convinced that the employees of McDonalds were just customers who could pay and are working off their bills.
Was wondering...when you have a mandatory meeting at work, why do the presenters always thank you for being there?
A Relationship is like poker, if you don`t have a partner you better have a good hand.
Your silent treatment should be accompanied by a disappearing act.
I`m single by choice. Just not my choice.
Don`t judge a man by how low his pants hang below his a$$...just kidding, that`s a great reason to judge someone.
I`ve been around the block a few times.....but only because I was too drunk to find my house.