Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Don`t play stupid with me! I`m better at it.
If you are noticing this notice, you will have noticed this notice is not worth noticing
I meant to make you a rum cake but somehow I made you a plain cake and now I’m drunk.
Judging from all the misery and carnage on my newsfeed, I`m assuming it`s Monday.
With the problems I have, I would have taken my own life a long time ago but i have one question: Do they sell weed in hell?
I`m glad the guy who came up with "No means no" didn`t do the whole dictionary
My favourite part about amazingly hot, energetic, passionate sex. Is being able to rewind the tape & watch it again.
Apparently, all those good looking people in the swimsuit catalogs go to a different beach than I do.
My mother always used to think that my friends were bad influences. ..I wonder if she`s figured out yet that I was the one coming up with all the ideas? ;)
The pharmacist asked me my birthday again today. Pretty sure she`s going to get me something.
Instead of ‘gay friends’ can we say homiesexuals
Telling me to calm down is the easiest way to get me to tell you to go f*ck yourself.
I have my hesitations about Paradise City if the first thing you brag about is the color of the grass
A homeless guy asked me for money today and I thought, sure, he’s probably just gonna spend it on booze and cigarettes. Then I remembered, that’s what I was gonna do, so we walked to the store together.
All I know about sex is from Internet Porn, I`ve tried everything except `Buffering`.