Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
In Store Special - "You`re My One and Only" Valentine`s Day cards... 4 for $5...
My mother was feeling cold so now I`m wearing a sweater.
A word of advice, stay on my good side. My good side is in Hawaii.
If a woman asks if she looks fat, it’s not enough to say “no.” You must also act very surprised by the question. Jump backwards if necessary
I get nervous after taking time off work, that in my absence my boss will realize how little I actually do at the office.
I would’ve slept my way to the top years ago if it actually involved sleeping.
I was the hot single in my area the whole time.
Thank god we don`t send messages with pigeons anymore. Where would I find 200 pigeons every day?
This ramen noodle and vienna sausage dinner taste exactly like I made the wrong career choice :(
I`m surrounded by sex addicts & alcoholics. So glad I found y`all.
We`ll be friends `til we`re old and senile ... Then we`ll be new friends.
I just spent a lot of time trying to form a thought when it would`ve been easier to just say, "F*ck it."
This coworker is about to find out walking around smiling on a Monday always leads to workplace accidents.
Some questions just answer themselves. Like, sit-ups or pizza?
Today somebody called me a model! Well they said "poster boy for birth control", but I knew what they meant.