Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If suppositories were just a bit smaller, they would be a whole lot easier to swallow...........................
Shhh...you had me at "alcohol may intensify effect..."
I`m starting to think all that stuff about Y2K is not going to happen !
Auctioneers are proof white guys could rap if they tried hard enough.
I would like to congratulate my ex`s new boyfriend on giving up blow jobs.
Did 4 push ups & 2 sit ups then ate 4 doughnuts & drank 2 beers. It`s called balance people!
If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and barks like a pig, then I probably took too many pills.
If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other
Some people want a perfect relationship. I just want a cheeseburger that looks like the ones in commercials.
Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I`m driving.
I made a huge TO DO list for this weekend. I just can’t figure out who’s going to do it.
I swear my toddler yells at me in Vietnamese
Sometimes i wish i was an octopus, so i can slap eight people @ once!
Really, 6 more inches of snow today. My front yard is getting more action than me.
My boss yelled at me yesterday "It`s the fifth time you`ve been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!" I said, "Probably that it`s Friday?"…