Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
At what point in potty training do you give the child a toy smartphone?
I just want to buy an old Mercedes Benz,so people will think I have been rich for a long time.
1 in 5 bosses will let you leave work early if you claim to have `lady problems` then start crying. It works even better for guys.
Whenever I start to hate my job I think about the camera crew who has to follow the Kardashian’s 24/7.
You laugh because I`m different ........... I laugh because I farted.
Oh, so you are thinking about me? I am also thinking about myself.....
I was asked what I would give the woman who has everything? Well...my phone number for a start
I´m not cheap, but I am on special this weekend. ;)
My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy. I came back drunk.
No thank you, I don`t need a coaster. I won`t be putting my drink down.
Emails from your boss assigning you work do not qualify as cyber bullying. I checked.
Women should run the world. That will give men more time to drink beer and watch sports.
I don`t know what your problem is, but I`ll bet it`s hard to pronounce.
You know what’s funny? Lots of sh!t so lighten the f*ck up.
Hey officer, why did you stop me? Just an hour ago, you said that you never wanted to see me again.