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Three decades of playing Tetris have apparently not improved our nation`s ability to stow overhead luggage.
Before I lose my phone, end up naked, high, drunk and/or possibly arrested, I would like to wish you all a Happy Friday.
The part of "no" that I don´t understand is the part where I don´t get what I want
"Stay out of the heat & stay hydrated." Thank you news-anchor. It`s my first summer.
If someone doesn’t stand up to let you pass them in movie theater seats, it’s totally cool and legal to fart in their face as you walk by.
is in his own little world but it´s okay they know me here.
Please, please don`t be a bitch to me. Because then I`ll have to be a bitch back and I can do it better than you.
"Well, now I see how you came up with the word `Microsoft`." -Melinda Gates (on their wedding night)
Just bought an exercise bike today because my treadmill works fine for laying my pants on, but it won`t accommodate hanging shirts on hangers.
Who actually clicks on the "No I am not over 18" links on "adult" pages?
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.
B!tches be trippin ... OK, maybe I pushed one.
How can society expect me to be a mature productive member of it I don`t even know if it`s spelled gray or grey
The female praying mantis devours the male within minutes after mating, while the female human prefers to stretch it out over a lifetime.
Saw A bumper sticker that said "Fat People Are Harder To Kidnap" not sure if he was a proud fat man or a disgruntled kidnapper though.