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Flat screens are nice and all, but they`ll never compare to the television/record player/ liquor cabinet combo extravaganza we had as kids.
There is no such thing as bad luck, there is good luck and life!
The only thing I understand about Algebra: I look at my X and I wonder Y
No one is ever bored enough to start studying.
I`m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out I`ll pop open the red and drink that.
All this time I thought Bi-Polar was a big white bear with no sexual preference.
It’s a little sad that today’s youth don’t get to experience a red rubber dodgeball to the face like we did back in the day.
Despite the high cost of living, it still remains popular.
I keep graphic, full frontal nude pictures of myself on my cell phone in case anyone ever hacks it. That`ll teach `em.
“Grandbrother” sounds much cooler than uncle.
I was the hot single in my area the whole time.
Some people are like Polaroids. You have to shake them violently before they make any sense.
My flock of sheep were stolen from my farm last month. I`ve not been able to sleep since.
I keep my land line so I can find my cell phone.
Too many people complain about their looks, but not nearly enough complain about their brains.