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Apparently I`m the only one that wants to drink beer at this intervention.
2003: Fear that ppl from the internet will find me in real life. 2013: Fear that ppl from real life will find me on the internet.
Fun Fact: A pizza will never sleep with your best friend behind your back.
Who the hell buys a cat? There are cats everywhere just let one in your home and it becomes your cat.
My credit card company says I have an outstanding balance. Iām flattered.
Salary is like a menstrual cycle, it comes once a month and is gone in five days...
No matter how much you push the envelope - it`ll still be stationery.
If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, you know you have small boobs
How do American chickens cross the road? In a bucket.
Some people are like Polaroids. You have to shake them violently before they make any sense.
Sorry I mispronounced your baby`s name you made up.
"No, thanks. I`m a vegetarian." is a fun thing to say when someone hands you their baby.
If women kept their feelings to themselves would they explode? Guess we`ll never know.
Lisa has 750 friends on Facebook. A week later she adds 150 more to her friends list. What does she have? Answer-Big Boobs
You know that old saying? If you seen one woman naked. You want to see all women naked.