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You say `pervert with a telescope` ... I say `biological astronomer`.
I just took a 5 hour energy and a sleeping pill...LET THE BATTLE BEGIN.
All I`m saying is, I`ve never seen my ex and Satan in the same room together.
I use to be addicted to soap, but now I`m clean
The term "bath toys" has a whole new meaning when you`re an adult
If you run into someone you know and they say "we should hang out sometime", say "I`m ready to hang out now" and watch them panic.
GF: "You`re cute when you`re drunk" Me: "You`re cute when I`m drunk too"
Scientists are adding an extra second to the year 2015. Yeah. Here`s the bad news. You just wasted it reading this post.
I think "Don`t Kid Yourself" would be a great brand name for birth control pills....
The ultimate home security system is having shitty stuff.
since when was it cool to have an iPhone at the age of 10.. i sincerely hope those parents know what they`ve done.
It’s not you. It’s my ears. They just make you sound so boring and dull.
Being unsure has never stopped me from making a decision.
When ever I think about the past...It brings back so many memories
Billion dollar idea: Meth with Flouride