Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
life is unfair theres 6 days between monday and sunday but only 1 between sunday and monday
Life is what happens when your cell phone is charging.
I don`t just sing in my shower, I perform.
HardCoreStrategy 22 hours ago 6 3? Guys are? in a cafe. The first guy says "I?? have the smallest arm in the? world." The second guy says I have the?? smallest head in? the world." The third guy says I have the smallest d^ck in the world. They all? go to? the Guinness Book of World records. The? first? guy comes back and says I really? have the smallest arm in the world. The seconds guy? returns and? says? I have the smallest head in the world. The third guy comes back? and angrily?? says WHO? T
I don`t want to be bothered with stupid $h!t today. What is stupid $h!t? Anything I don`t want to be bothered with.
A cop just pulled me over -- asking if I knew my tail light was out? I said, `Uh uh. I drive on the inside of my car`
God is creative, I mean just look at me.
Forecast for tonight: Dark.
Whenever I`m sad, you`re there. Whenever I`m having problems, you`re always there. Whenever my life seems out of control, you`re always there. Lets face it. You`re bad luck.
I checked my calendar, and I won`t give a f*ck tomorrow either.
I have an alcohol problem, in that I can`t afford any.
Law and Order is just Blue`s Clues for adults.
You can`t always control who walks in to your life but you can control which window to throw them out.
Don’t waste electricity. How would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
Football: 22 people on the field desperately in need of rest and 75,000 in the stands desperately in need of exercise.