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Forgot to make resolutions? Just write out everything you did New Years Eve and at the beginning add the word "stop."
Similarities between BRA and BAR 1. Both have similar letters 2. Both are drinking zones 3. When both opened men go crazy "prove me wrong"
Hey Ladies..Prince charming is Gay and living with Mr. Right
I pretend to like people everyday. It`s called being an adult. That`s why we`re allowed to buy booze.
Unless your kid’s fundraiser is selling booze, I want no part of it.
sex is like a joke, some get it some don`t.....
The way I see it, every Friday is Good Friday.
I`m so broke right now that if someone tried to rob me, they`d just be practising..
My career plans were much more exciting when I was 5
I once shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.
On the bright side, it’s Friday Eve Eve Eve.
First, Ray Rice. Now, Adrian Peterson. The prison football league is going to be off the chain this year.
Nobody pissed me off today... I got to get out more.
Improve your day by ordering coffee in the voice you use for your pets.
Apple is looking to expand its market share among Latinos. No word yet on the release date of their newest device, the iCaramba.