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Of course I’ll buy a polished rock made into a necklace. I’m on vacation, aren’t I?
Saw a post stating "taking it one day at a time," so I responded "me too. That`s how days work."
According to the law it`s not appropriate to put a bounty on my boss. I actually thought it showed great initiative and leadership.
Why does everybody call it a "hot water heater?" It`s really a cold water heater.
I know money talks but I wish mine had a better vocabulary instead of just ‘Spend me’.
Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over? You were driving 80 miles an hour. Driver: "No way; I ain`t even been on the road an hour."
I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
I ran into my ex the other day. I could have sworn the light was green.
Calm down shouty museum man. I think it`s pretty obvious that I know how to ride a dinosaur skeleton.
Why is the jolly Green giant so damn jolly
All true wisdom is found on T-Shirts.
Really disappointed to find out after laser eye surgery I am unable to burn down buildings
The next person that tells me I have no shame…probably knows me pretty darn well.
I`d like to give you a big thumb`s-up. But I`m afraid that would be the wrong finger.
I´m thankful for Facebook. Before, I would just scream out my thoughts to anyone who would listen.