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wants to remind you this Halloween, that as a general rule, don`t solve riddles that open portals to Hell.
Am I the only one who calculates how much sleep I can get before I go to bed?
Laugh now because when I die, I`m coming back to haunt you.
Note to self: Next time, don`t use "continue" as the Safe Word.
There are no problems which cannot be solved through suitable application of high explosives.
I`m happy, but not "Oprah just told me to look under my chair" happy.
The only thing alcohol can`t cure is alcoholism.
I don`t think any of my vampire jokes will ever see the light of day.
How do you get in touch with the models in the pictures that come with the frame? I have an out of control, elaborate lie I need help with.
I`m at my neighbor`s house having the most delicious dinner. Hope I finish before they get home!
Every-time I walk over a sewer grate I look down into it hoping to catch a glimpse of a Ninja Turtle
I get a lot of “You must work out!!!” I just wish it wasn’t from doctors. :(
There`s a time and a place for non-alcoholic beer. Never, and down the drain.
I don`t use cocaine, I just like the way it smells.
There’s no excuse for laziness.. but if you find one, let me know.