Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The beauty of vodka is that it looks like water. The beauty of the workplace is that water bottles are allowed.
Do stupid people ever hit a point in their life, where they realize they’re stupid?
I`m in a good place right now. Not emotionally....just that I`m at the liquor store.
I find it most unfair that the dentist in this neighborhood hands out toothbrushes for Halloween but the pharmacist doesn`t hand out drugs.
You know you`re old when you think "pokemon" is a gay rastafarian
If I saw a ghost, I would not be scared. I’d be like “Sit your translucent ass down, I have a lot of questions!”
Some people have a natural talent for stupid. Others take that talent and actually ENHANCE it!
You can tell by a woman`s feet how she feels about you. If they are behind her ears, she likes you.
yelling at the referee that he made a mistake has never worked, No Referee has never turned around and said, "Why yes your are right silly me I did make a mistake, penalty denied, goal kick"
I`m not necessarily saying that I am or am not a super hero, but I do occasionally stand with my hands on my hips.
Does this 50 pound bag of cat food make me look single?
How about a cooking show called "Cookin crap in the Microwave".
I`m Dave, or as the ladies like to call me... "Hey, you! Behind the bushes!"
If you love something, set it free. Maybe not dogs with rabies though. Or killer bees or pretty much any domesticated animal into the wild. Lots of stuff really. Look, the point is don`t love anything.
My 5 year plan is to watch Netflix. All of it.