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My resume is really just a list of all the things I never want to do again.
Once and for all, I agree to ALL "the terms and conditions" that have or will ever exist!
I show my age when I`m in a club with all the 20 somethings.. Guess its because the last dance step I mastered was dancing like Gene Gene The Dancing Machine
Does a transformer get car insurance or life insurance?
A recent survey of one person revealed that 100% of me thinks I should skip work tomorrow.
Please don`t post that political joke you just came up with. . . it really wasn`t that funny to begin with. Thanks for understanding. -the rest of us
If it`s really the thought that counts, we`re ALL screwed. LOL ;)
Can we just call it Zealand now? How long has it been? Move on people.
I`ve learned more from one season of "Shark tank", than I ever learned in four years of buisness school.
My grandparents still use encyclopedias to google stuff.
You know itβs cold outside when you go outside and itβs cold.
They`ve been farting with my facebook again. It`s like the old days when the the girl you woke up with wasn`t the one you went to bed with.
I may be too old to cut the mustard, but I can still cut the cheese.
Starting to think my wife might have a tumor. She`s had a headache for the past 15 years.
The police want to interview me. Strange, I didn`t even apply for a job.