Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How to win an argument. 1. Have a vagina. 2. That’s it. 3. You win. 4. Congratulations.
You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
If I treated others how I wanted to be treated, I`d be doing a ton of spontaneous sexual favors for random strangers.
In some ways I’m just like a dog…. I can’t be trusted around unsupervised food.
It`s funny to watch all these people Bumping Up their own posts.
If you can’t celebrate Valentine’s Day with someone you love, celebrate it with alcohol and pizza.
Just found out What the Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, "Move to the passenger seat"
Why is it called stealing when your WIFI is trespassing in my house?
Why do sandwiches taste so much better when they are cut diagonally?
I didn`t get drunk enough last night, I can still remember working.
I’m not a vegetarian but I eat animals who are.
I`m a fantastic secret-keeper because, deep down, I really don`t care enough to actually talk about it to anyone else.
People who think only God can judge them have obviously never met my mother-in-law.
Dear Diary, the ugly woman at the bank cut in front of me today." Woman: "EXCUSE ME?!" [whispers]"Dear Diary, I think she can hear me."
Didn`t have to do much to end my last relationship...she first told me that "opposites attract"...then a couple of days later she told me i was handsome, kind, smart, funny and loving...