Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I know a lot of women who should substitute their lipstick with glue sticks.
Just woke up next to my bed. Not sure if I fell out or didn`t quite make it in.
Whenever I see a really hot girl with an ugly guy, I think "klondike bar".
Like this if you can’t think of a clever status either.
FYI: Taking permanent marker and writting Aeropostale on Fruit of the Loom tee shirts will NOT fool your teenager.
I thought I was having deja vu, but it turns out I do the exact same things every day.
I miss flip phones because at the end of a conversation you could always dramatically close them like, bitch whatever.
Social Media Awkwardness: When people "like" a relationship status of being single by your ex instead of yours.
Coworker: What did you do this weekend? Me: Dug holes in the woods. And that is how you get people to shut up.
I think my downstairs neighbors are beginning to suspect I`m living in their attic...
If the people in horror movies would just listen to me, they would still be alive!
Secretly replaced the bacon with beggin` strips. Let`s see if the customers notice.
Pregnancy test confirmed me my worst fear.......I`m just fat
That sound the Ketch-up make when you squeeze out the last drop, NEVER fails in making people laugh
You can tell how old someone is by what part of the chex mix is their favorite.