Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The first step to admitting you have a problem is having a problem.
Nothing says "My life isn`t going exactly as I planned" quite like being at Wal Mart at 1am.
Roses are red, violets are blue. If I had a brick, I`d throw it at you.
I hate wasting alcohol on social occasions.
Excessive consumption of alcohol seems like a good idea.
Light travels faster than sound. That`s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
If life is unfair to everyone, doesn’t that make life fair?
If you`re gonna label the silica gel "do not eat", maybe you should label everything in the box. I almost ate a shoe before someone stopped me
My bank lets me send a text message and it´ll text back with my balance. It´s a cool feature but I didn´t think the LOL was necessary.
Uses for the plastic ruler..... 5% to draw stright lines 95 % to hit people.
I just found out that his full name is actually, Vehicle Identification Number Diesel.
Whenever somebody said they did something "Like a Boss" I assume that they did nothing but took all the credit for it.
I bet the creator of the artificial heart is pretty pissed that we still use "sliced bread" as our basis for great inventions.
Just once I want my skills to be so urgently required that a helicopter is dispatched to pick me up.
My dog is eating. I`m sitting next to her, staring intently at her, making her obviously uncomfortable. Yeah, how`s THAT feel, mutt?