Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Before I die, I`m putting fake treasure maps behind all my picture frames.
My New Year’s resolution is to climb Mount Everest, learn 7 new languages, and stop lying.
I had the urge to clean my place today so I laid down until the urge went away.
Perhaps Voldemort’s face is flat because he ran into the wrong wall at the train station.
Corduroy pillows?... They`re making headlines!....
I dont want to sound like a badass or anything but I play Wii without the wrist strap on....
Must you really ask why I have my selfie on top of my Christmas tree?
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn`t for any religious reasons. They couldn`t find three wise men and a virgin.
Nothing says "friend zone" quite like a girl saying "you`re like a brother to me." (Disregard this message if you`re from Alabama)
I`ve been on a diet for 2 weeks and all I`ve lost is 14 days.
Decided to get in touch with my feminine side today... I made myself a sandwich!
Depresso; the feeling you get when you’ve run out of coffee.
I`m reaching the point where I really hope it`s not possible to be annoyed to death.
Peeing in the sink is a great time saver: no lifting the seat, no flush, sink is right there to wash hands jk I don`t wash my hands.
They say you are what you eat but I don’t remember eating a sexy beast.